Comic:Marty Tanenger Tales
From CGWiki
Roughage
Chronicling the misadventures and random behavior of lifelong friends Marty Tanenger and Aaron Keith. Marty doesn't speak out of turn and Aaron is a loudmouthed idiot. Mixing the best parts of Pop Culture and crude/almost offensive humor, there's little that can separate these two, no matter how much one of them may want it.
http://martytanenger.comicgenesis.com
Characterism
- Marty Tanenger
- 18 year old native of Routeville, CA. He spends the majority of his days alongside childhood friend Aaron Keith. Marty's annoyance with Aaron's blissfully ignorant disposition is only overshadowed by his undying loyalty as a friend.
- Aaron Keith
- Everyone is born with a general sense of logic and common sense. Everyone except Aaron Keith, that is. Always looking out for Marty's best interest, while keeping his own one step ahead, the wake left by any one of his hairbrained ideas will take a chunk out of ANY town's tax buffer.
Storylines (Warning! Spoilers)
- Welcome to the Flop
- Aaron mistakes his own cat for a bong, adopts a "little brother" named Charles and Marty gets the girl (with little to no effort at all.) Aaron can't remember her real name (it's Allison, not Tina,) gets jealous and hatches a plan.
- Blast Off the Future
- Aaron's plans to free Marty from the eternal bonds of boyfriend-dom are thwarted at every turn by his "Fully Trained German Shepherd," until he "inherits" the BTTF DeLorean. However, on his way to transport the two of them to the past to erase Tina/Allison's existence, Aaron sets the radio instead of the "Time Circuits" and they get pulled over and arrested for speeding, reckless endangerment and driving without a license. The boys spend a few weeks in prison, Aaron gets raped in the shower (maybe?) and they're released and fined after their surprise witness Huey Lewis gives his testimony.
- Aaron sneaks back to the mall and steals back the DeLorean after Doc is shot with a bullet proof vest. In a time paradox, Aaron somehow arrives in 1955 Hill Valley after Marty McFly (not Tanenger) departs for 1985 (think the end of BTTF2.)
- Radio Killed the Video Bar
- To get their respective minds off their legal turmoil, Marty and Aaron settle in for a day of TV watching. Enraged by the blasphemous context of "My Favorite Things" mixed with a deep seeded dislike for singing nuns, Aaron kicks his cat into the television, rendering it inoperable. Their new acquaintance Tad helps them pick out a new television while the cat decides to take up residence in the old one. Tad is crushed by a big-screen on the way to the house.
- Marty, Aaron and Tina/Allison set up the new TV next to TV cat and proceed to watch the latest in TV drivel, Trendy West-Coasties.
- In an attempt to reconcile their court fees and pay off their television, Aaron brings the TV cat outside and sets up a $10 Lemonade Stand. Brandon is introduced and promptly (and brutally) attacked by the TV cat, Aaron gets maced by a journalist and tells off Pete Yorn, all while Tad's bodycast prevents him from reaching his hospital pudding.
- The Cat Came Back
- While hospitalized for his run in with TV cat, Brandon is suddenly terrorized by a feline apparition which emerges from the hospital's television. He is then found by a soaking wet, wall mounted television with gray skin and a horrifically disfigured expression on his face. Nobody checked for a pulse. After getting word of Brandon's apparent death and Tad's hospitalization (at their own hands, nonetheless,) Marty and Aaron go to investigate.
- While the boys are busy throwing up on Brandon's corpse, Tad is then targeted by the ghost cat via his own hospital television. His nurse finds him in the same condition as Brandon and her scream summons Marty and Aaron (who has a rigor-morti-ed Brandon in tow.) Aaron throws up on Brandon again and all three of them (Nurse, Marty and Aaron) are targeted by the ectoplasmic feline. They are chased through the hospital, the cat always one step ahead as it can travel through TV frequency, until they lock up in a store-room where Aaron calls in his "big gun," Charles.
- Though, before Charles arrives, the cat appears through the LCD screen on Aaron's cellphone. Aaron sacrifices himself to save the Nurse and Marty. Luckily, Charles shows up with his aluminum baseball bat and thrusts himself into the television after the ghost cat. In a one on one against the MCP (Master Cat Program,) the odds were against Charles until Marty saw that Brandon had stashed the "key" before passing on. The "Key" being a ball of yarn, was thrown into the television to aid Charles. The MCP was blasted out of the television and captured in the magnet in a CAT scan machine.
- On his way out of the television, Charles falls on Brandon, forcing a hairball out of his throat. Miraculously Brandon comes back to life. The same procedure is performed on Tad and Aaron, however, Aaron does not wake up. In order to cure Aaron, Marty and the Nurse drive to Doc Brown's house in the stolen DeLorean. Doc goes incognito, insists on going by the name Bennett and takes the wheel of the packed DeLorean.
- Epilogue - Tina/Allison is attacked by the "Fully Trained German Shepherd" while watching Trendy West-Coasties and the CAT Scanner with the MCP is locked away in a DC warehouse.
- The David Caruso Effect
- While the Nurse proves to be stupider than Tina/Allison, Bennett drives them all off a cliff. Apparently the DeLorean's downward velocity exceeds 88MPH and the crew is whisked back in time. Marty awakes in a tree with a Tyrannosaurus Rex looking to have lunch and the Nurse is nowhere to be seen. Bennett proclaims that he was SURE that the radio was set to NPR and immediately thrusts himself into the maw of the carnivorous beast. Marty and Aaron both lament Bennett's demise and Marty chides Aaron for pretending to be "dead" for the last several hours. Aaron claims to have been napping and that the ectoplasmic hairball tasted like a "baboon's taint."
- While the boys are arguing David Caruso appears and disarms the T-Rex with one swift punch to the jaw, felling the monstrous creature. The boys are agape and the Nurse (newly christened Nurse Juggs) appears at the side of Caruso in a brand new Sabretooth Tiger Pelt Bikini. Aaron is not happy about Juggs' newly found adoration of Caruso.
- Caruso orders the boys to march, and they begin to trek across the prehistoric landscape with little to no idea as to where they are headed. Meanwhile, Bennett frees himself from the gastro-intestinal confines of the T-Rex's abdomen. Using it's severed heart, He gets the Delorean out of the tree and finds that Nurse Juggs has been discarded like a cheap prom date by Mr. Caruso. She puts her nurses uniform back on and the two of them rush to rescue the boys from their untalented captor.
- In the midst of one of his incoherent one-liners, Bennett hits Caruso with the Delorean. The boys pile in with Nurse Juggs and they rev up to 88MPH! Though their triumph is short lived as Caruso gives chase by riding his trusty pterodactyl. Nurse Juggs, craving the music in which to shake her bootay, sets the time circuits/radio to 107.4 PopBOP. Caruso leaps off it's back toward the Delorean as it reaches quantum speed. Nurse Juggs attempts to avert Caruso's attention and is inadvertently nabbed by a passing stegosaurus. Caruso lands on the Delorean as the time circuits lock down and they are all (sans Juggs) transported to the year 2029!!
- Genome Toast
- Taking a break from our Chronal Confustication. We catch up with Brandon in the present, who is at home drinking and brooding over the turmoil he had to endure in the hospital mere hours ago. There is a knock at the door and Tad is there, a hideous growth protruding from his cheek (not unlike the infected bite of a 'Hobo Spider.')Tad confides in Brandon (who unwillingly listens) that the growth began shortly after the "hairball" was hoarked onto his face by Aaron. There is a scream heard from nearby and the two of them rush next door to investigate. Upon entry, they are met by a vicious "Fully Trained German Shepherd" and the room is in shambles with red stains all over the walls.
- Tina peeks her head in from the kitchen and informs Tad and Brandon that "A Doggy Came Over and We Had Spaghetti." Suddenly Tad's growth begins to pulse and expand. A mass of tentacles protrudes from the growth causing Tad to throw up on Brandon. Tad becomes possessed by the consciousness of the tentacles, they consume the remaining spaghetti and the mutation begins to grow more rapidly. The tentacles lunge for Brandon, putting him in a choke hold. Before Tad can feed on Brandon, "Doggy" leaps to the rescue, biting into Tads mutated torso. Brandon, Tina and "Doggy" escape from the distracted Tad while Brandon readies his secret weapon. He lights a cigarette and informs Tina that she's left the gas on. He throws the match and the house goes up in flames.
- Brandon and Tina drive off, leaving the burning house in the dust. However, Tad has survived and begins eating the unsuspecting pedestrian public. Brandon claims he knows who will be able to help and drives back to the hospital. En route, they are cut off by the Delorean as it flashes back into the present. Tina notices Marty driving and becomes very confused. At the hospital Brandon confronts Charles about Tad's "condition," who gives him back his own "hairball" and tells him where to go with it. Tina and Brandon board a plane to Washington, D.C. with the jar of sentient, alien hairball.
- The David Caruso Effect - Part Deux
- Back in 2029, before Bennett can start the car and get everyone the frak out of dodge, he FAILS to dodge a bottle flung by an angered Caruso. Bennett is knocked out cold, however, distracted by one of his own poorly structured anecdotes, Caruso is struck by a future-police cruiser and arrested for Public Drunkenness or Obstruction of Irish Heritage. The police let Marty and Aaron go free, but Bennett seems to have slipped away in the ensuing fracas. Trapped in the future, the boys decide to take a tour of the future, meeting Phil the Future Bum in the process.
- Meanwhile, in prison, Caruso is confronted by Bennett who is confronted by a mystery visitor!
- To pass the time, Aaron decides to test out his bank account of the future, realizing that he's got 20 years of accrued interest to spend. After splurging on some future amenities and getting Phil sickly-drunk, the boys themselves are arrested for providing alcohol to an unemployed senior. After nearly drowning in Bum-Vomit in the back of the police car, Marty and Aaron are given instructions on a meeting in the basement cell-block of the Police Station.
- They are confronted by none other than Brandon (!) who has just filled in Caruso and Bennett on the previous leg of his adventure. He proceeds to begin the story anew for the boys. As it goes, Brandon and Tina arrived at Dulles Airport in Washington, D.C. only to be attacked by the jarred up alien-hairball. They're both rescued by an officer of the tactical squad B.W.A.T. named Fabio (no relation.) As it were, Brandon used to be partnered up with Fabio as a member of B.W.A.T. Fabio's new partner Ben steps in and cryo-freezes the alien-hairball and refuses to hug Tina or Brandon. Tina is dropped off at a shoe store while Brandon, Fabio and Ben make their way to the warehouse that is storing the Ghost-Cat's CAT Scan prison.
