Comic:Never You Mind
From CGWiki
| See starter page/adding infoboxes Never You Mind! | |
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| Artist: | Daniel Murrell & Laurie Kosman |
| Writer: | |
| Characters: | Nathan, Melissa, Shawn, and Sandra |
| Updates: | Tuesdays and Saturdays |
| Began: | May 20, 2006 |
| Ended: | |
| Art style: | Postmodern Regressive |
| Rating: | Web-13 |
| Website | Website |
Bienvenidos to the grandiose world of Never You Mind! There�s not a lot to see here, but we�re really glad you came. Currently we�re offering our guests complementary copies of �The Notebook� DVDs (until supplies last), and many more wonderful offers might come around in the not too immediate future. But while you wait for visual goodness, we recommend you take some time to sit down and get to know the experience that the University-Main Times called �Online� and �Comic.� Cheers!
Contents |
Our Mission Statement
The story of Never You Mind!(C) actually dates back to prehistoric times. In fact, you just might call it destiny. Never You Mind, being the poster child of Intelligent Design, has received much criticism over the years. Fortunately many said defilers offered constructive comments that eventually aided the progress of our mission. Others, such as those of Jacques Derrida, considerably less so. At this point in time, Never You Mind is fervently dedicated to it's costumers. We aim to provide biweekly products that raise the mankind bar. Whatever invention fate decides us to sell, we promise to be there with a side of fries. We refuse to stop until the human race is pole valuted into that utopia. It's no longer about us, this is about progresss for everybody. And with your help, maybe... just maybe, these little dreams can come truth.
Store
Never You Mind currently offers a plethora of personal ingredients for the post-modern lifestyle. You're just a mouse spank away from the new and disenchanted you!
Our Most Popular Products
Keep up with the Johnsons with these hot selects:
Never Ending Hostel: This Always Changing House Apparatusoffers a safe haven from the trials of your reality bogged life. Just one dip into our bubbling cultural expansion zone, and you'll feel like you've completely changed your window on things. Off with the rose colored glasses! You see clearly now, and it looks kinda blue. After only a few sessions you'll be ready to call this hostel "home."
Toast for Launch: For ages, the greatest necessities have long ridiculed mankind from far atop the mount olymipus of uninvented inventions. And Now, we can successfully claim that we've captured their rook. The masses have practically mourned for a toaster that acctually projects the toast at viable lengths. The Toaster Flyer does that and more. Break your fast in bed? Yes you can. Our little chrome launcher is rated to reach distances of "your pool" and below.
Hybrid Hysteria: We'll cut the crap. Our patented never you mind Bichromic Flora is ergonomically designed to increase the success rate of your dates. Whatever step in the mating process you're in, our product is sure to propell you to the twenty first century. So send your kids to the movies and let our hybrids fill your home with sensuosity!
The L Line: For those with alternative tastes, Never You Mind hears your calls. Our new line of products fights back all the monotony that�s currently plaguing the American industry. When every product�s the same, none of them are. Try this line guaranteed to satisfy your lifestyle: Tie.
Bargains Ahoy!
These products sold like crap, so we're setting them out on our proverbial back porch just for you.
High Action Footage: Our local Video store had a clearance on used and unwanted DVDs. So we snatched them all up in bulk, and now we're passing the savings onto you! THe BaneSlinger: the reckoning DVD is only available in a limited worldly supply, so pick it up while your credit card is still out from our previous products! Baneslinger is a sordid tale of a photographer traveling the countryside who unexpectedly finds love in his lens. With Ninjas, Cyborg wars, and minorities, this film certainly bridges the gap on film Genres. Somebody shoot me!
Impressive Sounding College Degree: Tired of not having a single degree of college? Bored with the one you�ve got? Then look no further young man (or woman)! Impress your friends and enrage your neighbors with the cheap and easy Internet Bachelors Degree. Don�t shell out big bucks for a piece of paper, you�re smarter than that, and now you can prove it.
Our Beloved Staff
Head Figures
Fearless leaders beware, because when this quartet knocks heads, history happens!
| Person | Age | Appearance | Position |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nathan "Cowboy" Landers | 21 |  | Our CEO of operations, "the duke of decision" is so generous that he just sold all his company stock so that you can have some too! |
| Shawn "The Lionhead" MacArthur | 22 | Really ridiculously red hair | Our Vice President is the screw up nephew of the founder, what could we do? |
| Melissa "Totally not princess peach" Janowski | 22 |  | She's head of marketing or something, we're not really sure. |
| Sandra "No last name yet" | 23 | Nice and covered | Stock Market analysit. |
Cherished Underlings
| Person | Age | Appearance | Bio/description |
|---|---|---|---|
| That waiter dude | 55 | Enter Photo Here | Fun fun all for fun |
| Dr. Ostensible | 22 | Unkown | nondescript |
| Lisa | 20 | That girl | sequitary |
Interns
We'll post them as we get em!
FAQ
Aside from the weatlh of praise, Never You Mind has garnered it's fair share of questions as well. Here, we'll do our best to adress your pressing issues.
Q: "Are you for real?" A: Yes, sir, We pinch ourselves everyday.
Q: "You Turd Divers lost my order!" A: Impossible, your neighbors must have stolen your material bliss.
A "This site is gay" A: Yes indeed! We're all quite happy over here.
QUestions? Comments? Blank checks? Shoot them our way! Send all you electronic inquiries to "Toasterfire" at Gmail.com
Links
Have we failed in providing you with postmodern bliss? Did we not effectively satiate your utopia center? Here's a list of Fellow conspirators to help you achieve that goal!
- Links should go here to your comic and other resources
- Professional reviews
- Related links
