Crushgate
From CGWiki
| Dates: | Nov 23, 2005 - present |
| Subject: | Mr.Bob |
| Whistleblowers: | Cookie, Toxic, Terotrous |
| Holding: | Violating the well known fact that nothing stays a secret for very long on Comic Genesis |
The Crushgate scandal was the first major Presidential scandal of the Mr.Bob administration. In the scandal, President Bob refused to disclose the identity of his secret crush, a potential violation of Comic Genesis' morbid curiosity.
Contents |
Background
In the 23 November 2005 version of his wiki profile, Bob made the announcement that he had a crush on an unidentified spacer.
When initially questioned about the identity of the crushee, Bob was evasive about answering questions. His first response was, "Gahahaha!" followed by, "Why isnt anyone trying harder to winkle it out of me?"
The first wave of potential people Bob had a crush on included Kelly, RPin, PeppermintAfterlife, and even Cookie herself.
Bob would dismiss one CGenner, when he informed the public that is was not Kelly.
Public Reaction
The first radical response of the CG community was to threaten a hunger strike until told the identity of the secret crush. Given that most CGenners are skinny and pale, this situation created a vendetta for Bob. If he withheld the name, his public would starve to death very soon. If he revealed the name, his political opponents would leap at the chance to mudsling him with it. Fortunately, most CGenners forgot they were on a hunger strike within twenty minutes and continued eating normally.
The Comic Genesis senate would quickly subpoenae Bob to answer questions about his crush.
Bob Speaks
Bob would surprise the public by suddenly retracting his statement. "I won't stand for these baseless allegations. I sit on my previous statement that I don't have a crush at all and besides it's all lies because I get some all the time."
The CG community was quick to discover the obvious fabrication, as everyone knows Bob does not "get any", and certainly not "all the time."
Bob would give his first clue of the crush, stating the the name has an E in it.
New Facts Come to Light
On 7 December 2005 Cookie claimed to have discovered Bob's diary, and was in the process of decrypting it. Bob wrote on November 7 that he suspected his diary access may have fallen into enemy hands. He also wrote of his love for Ikea.
On 8 December 2005 Bob would claim that the diary was in fact a decoy, and the real diary resided in his pants. McDuffies quickly volunteered to retrieve it.
On 8 December it was also discovered that Bob had another comic [1] he wasn't telling us about.
Fallout
While some were expecting a massive drop in president Bob's credibility after all the lies and secrecy, it turned out that the public's desire to find out the truth was much less than Bob's desire to be found out. After the initial hype, people became bored of Bob's tight-lippedness, and the thread about his crush faded into obscurity. Truckloads of "My name has an E in it" T-shirts still remain unsold.
Recent Developments
Bob's public statement on his crush has always been that he "never had one". At some point, it was amended to say that "He never had one and definitely wasn't rejected".
During the turmoil when Yeahduff cancelled his upcoming wedding to PeppermintAfterlife, it was discovered that an anonymous source had revealed information about a connection between Bob and Shinedog to The List about a week ago without anyone noticing. Bob refuses to comment, possibly annoyed about being ignored again.
