Desperate Keenwives: Season 2/Part 3
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Chapter 29: Nanda And Steve
If there is anything to know about Nanda, it was her ability to confront those she knows is rather terrifying, because the woman really knows how to pull off a confrontation. Sure, this brashh attitude never helped out in high school, but when it came to around the neighborhood, it was her little weapon against people.
It was this brash confrontational method that Nanda seemed to grow inside of her as she walked up the stairs and onto Soap's front porch. She knocked, rather forcefully, on Soap's door, crossing her arms and waiting for someone to answer the door.
It was Soap that had to open up the door in her bathrobe to the angry Nanda. "Um, hi there Nanda." Soap said sleepily, rubbing one of her eyes.
"Where's my loser of an ex husband, Soap?" Nanda said with her arms crossed.
Soap rubbed her eyes sleepily. "What?"
"Steve. The premature ejaculator." Nanda said.
"He's in the kitchen." Soap said, pointing inside. The hangover she had at the moment kept her completely docile and in an argue less state.
Nanda stomped into Soap's lavishly made home, following the sounds of Steve's loud chewing into her kitchen. "Hello there Rules." Nanda said bitterly.
"What the hell are you doing here, Nanda?" Steve said, dropping the fork and knife in his hands.
"Oh, having to check up on your sorry ass and finding out all the bad decisions you've done."
"Bad decisions?" Steve asked with doubt.
"Oh, I can name a few. For one, Getting Ly to sleep with you is a big one, definitely. Hell, I still wonder why I slept with you all those years. Then there's this." Nanda gestured to Soap's kitchen. "One screw up after another."
"Oh come on, our relationship together was something of a scam?"
"Marriage, Steve, Marriage. Don't you get it? Steve, you're like a wild animal, chasing after any holes the size of your small dick and screwing them."
Steve groaned, pushing away the plate of premade waffles and rolling his eyes. "And there you go, bullying people and pushing them around! All you've become is a woman pushing everything around you, just so you can get that peace and quiet you so desperate for!”
"Me? Pushing them around? Where do you get the idea, Steve? I think you should look in the mirror, you ballcap wearing, smack talking, small dick, hypocrite."
"Do we really have to do this here? Soap really hates loud noises in the morning." Steve said hushed.
"Oh for Bob's sake!" Nanda threw up her arms in protest. "Now you know what the woman wants? It took you five years after we moved into that house for you to actually take out the trash!"
"What, you're still hung up on me?" Steve asked. "I thought you had that Stinky character to go around and bang happily."
"This isn't about Stinky, dammit, leave him out of it!" Nanda said. "Right now, I have to worry about your sorry ass and the decisions you're making."
"My decisions? What about Lizzie and her decision to go lesbian all of a sudden?"
"Ohohohoho no, Steve. Don't bring Stinky AND Elizabeth into this. Elizabeth has been worried sick already about her girlfriend, and I don't want to hear any more out of you on that subject. I support her decision and so should you."
"What about kids? Don't you want grand-children?"
"Sure I do, not in the same way Elizabeth was made in the back of a limo during prom."
"There you go slinging the fault around." Steve said.
Soap walked into the room, rubbing her temples. "Can you two keep it quiet? I have a headache."
"I'll leave." Nanda glared at Steve, right before stomping out of the kitchen and Soap's house.
Chapter 30: The Palace- Part 1
Sparrow looked at the palace through her binoculars, lying on her stomach on a cliff overlooking the palace. Her team was all around her, watching the ducks patrolling the area. The palace was something out of an old fashioned Victorian mansion, complete with large spirals that served as towers, and a large garden in the southern part of the property, where the entrance was. Large artillery cannons stood amid the flower gardens, and armed ducks patrolled around the
"Any bright ideas, people?" Sparrow asked, observing the palace and the guards.
"Order an air strike, and use it as a distraction to get into the palace." Phactorri offered.
"I can offer myself as a second distraction." Nutcracker offered. She pointed to the towers around the palace. "I've been itching to topple over something that big."
"Allright. Senshi, you're coming with me." Sparrow stashed away her binoculars and rolled a silencer on her pistol. "Nutcracker, blow up as much shit as possible. JTigerclaw, you cover her to the best of your ability. Phact, call in Jops to take out the front gates, and have a follow-up air strike take out the SAMs in the area and any other obstacles we may face. Once everyone does their distractions, get inside and we'll regroup inside."
JTigerclaw nodded, holding his giant SAW close. "Yes ma'am."
"What should I do?" AlmightyPyro asked.
Sparrow pointed to the front gates of the palace. "You run right out in front, and act as our target for the bombs."
"Sparrow, dammit, you don't have to treat me like shit this way just because you get thrown around like crap." Pyro said.
"Did anyone hear anything? I thought I heard whining to me." Sparrow said nonchalantly.
"Yeh, sounds like whining to me." Claude replied.
"Allright then. Set yourselves up. I'm going in." Sparrow said. "Claude, hang back with Laem. Who knows when you'll come in handy. Pyro, you stick with Nutcracker if you want to help."
The team split up, and quickly got into different positions. Senshi ducked behind a rock with Sparrow down below the cliff.
"Sparrow?" Senshi asked.
"Yeah?" Sparrow said, putting gloves onto her black hands.
"You miss your kids?"
"More than anything in the world." Sparrow said, putting the headset on her head. "And my husband."
"That lion Claude mentioned?"
"Yep. I'm doing this for my country. As soon as I removed Faceless' dick, I realized I'm not cut out to be a soldier anymore. The hunt of the kill, yeah, I'll miss it, but there's two little mischievous girls waiting back home for me to return, and they aren't going to learn my skills themselves." Sparrow said with a hint of sorrow in her voice.
Senshi looked in awe at her superior as Phactorri called in the airstrike on the cliff above. "Wow..."
“Get ready, Senshi.” Sparrow ordered, scanning the walkway that circled the palace for any ducks. She heard the radio fizz on.
“This is Jops. We’ll take out the front gates for you, no problem.”
Seconds later, the whine of the shells was heard in the skies above. The shells slammed down into the front gates, reducing them to rubble.
“GO!” Sparrow yelled. She jumped from her crouching position towards the palace, launching herself at a crack in the wall. Sparrow deftly scaled the wall with just her hands and legs, climbing onto the walkway, jumping upon a duck and crushing its neck with the heel of her boot. Senshi soon followed, keeping the silence of her commander by using a small silenced pistol firmly in front of her.
“TIMBER!” Nutcracker yelled over the radio. Sparrow and Senshi watched from an enclave as the first tower to the northwest of the palace started to shake, then fall, in a westerly direction, away from the palace.
“Nutcracker, care to topple one of those suckers on the palace?” Sparrow said over the radio.
“Sure, which one?” Nutcracker responded after a fit of giggles.
Southwest one. Into the gardens. It’ll make it harder for any reinforcements to roll into the main palace. Plus, we don’t have to worry about any of the artillery pieces that are stationed in there.” Sparrow said as Senshi picked the lock to an inside door.
Senshi held her pistol close, then burst into the door, taking out a duck that was standing guard with two shots of her USP, tearing the beak up with the first shot, and the second ripping off part of the skull as the eye went flying.
“you need to work on that marksmanship, Senshi.” Sparrow commented, pulling out her katana.
“It’s dead, need any more proof?” Senshi said, walking down the lavishly furnished hallway. Sparrow ran ahead, using her sword as a mirror to cover the last of the hallway before ending up at a steel door.
“Ooh, this is new.” Sparrow said, watching as the entire place shook as one of the towers outside toppled into the gardens. “Any suggestions, Senshi?”
“I’ve got something!” Pyro called out. He ran down the hallway with Claude in tow towards Senshi and Sparrow.
“How’d you two get up here?”
“There’s a side entrance on the west side. I was brought on this mission for a reason.” Pyro said, attaching a door charge to the iron door. “I’ve been here before, and I know where everything is.”
Sparrow kept her sword out. “So are we going in the right direction?” She asked as a shell landed in the courtyard, causing another small earthquake, making the chandeliers above shake wildly.
“Yeah. Somewhat. The jails are down below, where intel says Lego is being held.” Pyro said. Everyone stood at a distance as Pyro detonated the charges, leaving a gaping hole where the door used to be.
“After you, mademoiselle.” Sparrow said to Pyro sweetly.
Chapter 31: Political Manuvering
"They're in." Orion announced to President Bob, Mercury Hat, and Cortland. In front of them, a bay of television screens showed the satellite view of the palace. "An artillery strike guided by the team took out the front gates of the palace."
"What are these images?" Cortland asked, pointing to the monitors mounted in front of them.
"These pictures are live feeds of the battle, Mr. Vice President." Orion pointed out Nutcracker running from a tower before it toppled over in a flash of white light. "That would be Nutcracker, the demolitions expert. Sparrow and Senshi are already in. "
"Thank you, Orion" Mercury Hat said. She sat back and watched the feed continue on the screen. She could see the figures of JTigerclaw, Laemkral, and Phactorri running into the palace.
"Whoo wee, its like watching a Hollywood movie." Bob said with a grin. An aide, Tellurider, brought in a bowl of popcorn for him to chew on as part of the palace wall exploded in a flash of brick and smoke. "Exempt without the cool camera angles."
"But we're putting lives on the line, unlike any of those bad films you love." Merc said. Always the obedient worker, she had a pile of notes and documents scattered all over the table.
"Hell, I'm not doubting this team. They'll pull through." Bob said with a mouthful of popcorn. "Plus, have you seen the bum on sparrow?"
"I live on the same street as you do, Bob. I know what her bum looks like."
"Ain't it sweet?" Bob said with a grin.
"You know I'm not into women, Bob."
"What about your old college roommate, Soap? Still talk to her?"
"What does soap have to do with anything, Bob?"
"Ever seen Coeds Under Pressure 7?"
"Thankfully, I have not." Merc said.
"A shame." Bob said before shoving another mouthful of popcorn into his mouth.
"Have anything to comment on, pineapple head?" Merc said with a grin.
"Pineapple head?" Cortland responded gruffly.
"Sure, all of us have nicknames." Bob said with another mouthful of popcorn in his mouth. "I'm bald head, you're pineapple head, and Merc is fox head."
One of Merc's ears on the top of her head twitched. "Mmmmhmm."
"Why haven't I heard of this?" Cortland asked.
"Maybe you never pay attention, save for that hair of yours." Merc motioned to the hair on Cortland's hair that seemed to grow in an unimaginable shape.
Cortland sighed, leaning back in his chair and watching the battle continue. "I have more pressing issues on my mind."
"Oh? Like what?" Bob asked, motioning to Tellurider for more popcorn.
"Are we supposed to be running for re-election again, Bob?" Cortland asked suspiciously.
Bob scratched the toupee on his head. "Well, about that..." he said with embarrassingly.
"Nope." Merc said promptly, cutting off Bob from his response. "I'm running with him"
Cortland didn't look all that surprised. "Figures as much. When will be the announcement?"
"Primary debates." Merc said. "Bob was supposed to tell you of the decision sooner, but he neglected to, obviously." Merc shot a glare in Bob's direction.
Bob scratched his toupee nervously. "Sorry about that, Cort. What's best for the party. You know the drill, ol' chap."
"Save the fake accent, Bob. I don't need it." Cortland glared at Bob. He stood up, and walked towards the door. Cortland paused, only for a minute before patting Bob on the back. "Good luck." he said before walking out of the room.
Chapter 32: Prisoner Escape
Maria prepared today's recipe, a tomato soup recipe handed down to her by her mother, as well as a nice side of a salad with spinach, leafy lettuce, and tomatoes.
"Honestly, dog food would be much cheaper than all the fancy food you keep cooking." Michelle said from the kitchen doorway.
"Humanity is a fickle thing, Michelle." Maria said. "We would be no better than the animals if we feed him animal food."
"Don't get philosophical on me, hun." Michelle said, pulling the pistol out of its drawer and putting it in her pants waistband. "Food is food, and feeding him kibbles and bits would be a whole lot easier."
“It’s not ethical!”
“What we’ve done isn’t ethical in the first place, Maria!” Michelle said, throwing her arms up in protest. “You know that!”
Maria put the salad on the platter and picked it up. “I’m ready to go.” She said.
Michelle walked down the stairs to the basement, only to find that the once heavy door somehow was open once she turned on the light.
Maria dropped the platter in shock. Her hands cupped her mouth in shock.
Their prisoner was gone. Completely and utterly gone. Some ropes were piled on the bed, as well as the floor, but other than that, it was the same old cell. Without its prisoner.
"How the hell did he get away?" Michelle roared, kicking the platter that Maria dropped in rage. “Oh great, people will find him now. Just great.” She said, throwing the gun into the corner of the room.
Maria searched the cell quickly. "Look." She said, holding up a butter knife from the floor of the cell. "I musta dropped this when he attacked us."
"Explains how he could have cut through the ropes." Michelle said. “Thanks to you, our little secret somehow sneaked past the both of us and somehow escaped into the neighborhood.”
Maria dropped the knife and ran up the stairs, running through the kitchen, the hall, and the foyer to the front yard, looking around their prisoner. "WHERE ARE YOU?" She called out his name over and over again, but to no avail, in a frantic state.
Michelle rushed up the stairs and joined her partner on the front lawn. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm trying to find him." Maria said.
"You fool; we're not supposed to have him!" Michelle said. "He's supposed to be missing."
Maria scanned the dark neighborhood for the shape of the prisoner. “It’s still humane to look for him!”
"Let's get back inside. He'll show up sooner or later." Michelle said. "Come on."
Maria sighed with frustration, and shrugged her shoulders. "All right."
Michelle wrapped her arm around her partner and escorted her inside. “All we can do now is wait and see what happens. He was the one to run away, and hopefully, we won’t be connected to the two of us.”
“Allright.”
The prisoner watched from the bushes.
He scattered off to wander the neighborhood of Meadow Lane in the darkness that loomed all around.
He looked for food.
He saw all the houses, lit up, waiting until the lights went out before entering them, sometimes forcefully, looking for food, and in the first time, he missed the food that Maria served him.
Chapter 33: The Palace - Part 2
It was Senshi's style, after all. Grenades everywhere. It was a great tactic, after all. The ducks were in complete disarray, putting out the fire at the main gates only to have grenades take out one of the artillery pieces.
Sparrow ran past Senshi's distraction. The metal door had led to the courtyard in the middle of the palace, and in the middle of the exquisite garden, was the stairs hatch to the jails.
"PYRO! Cover me!" Sparrow yelled over the gunfire.
"Yes ma'am!" Pyro popped his head out and started to fire short bursts at the ducks on the balconies above.
Sparrow pulled two grenades from her kit and pulled the pins, throwing them into the windows of the rooms of the second floor.
"Commander! Look what I found!" JTigerclaw said from behind Sparrow. The rooms above exploded, glass raining down on the courtyard below as the team took refuge behind pillars in an overhang.
Sparrow ducked behind the pillar to see JTigerclaw rolling a chaingun on a small stand. "Where the hell did you find that?"
"It was in a closet." JTigerclaw said. "Permission to fire?" he asked with a grin, turning on the chain gun and watching it slowly begin to spin.
"You have to ask?" Sparrow said. "Take out the ducks! Phactorri, call an airstrike for another distraction!"
"Yes ma'am!" Phactorri ran back into the hallway inside for protection as JTigerclaw began to open fire with the chaingun, watching it rip through concrete and brick.
"Keep it going, Tigerclaw! Aim for the upper floors!" Sparrow yelled over the fire of the chain gun. She signaled for the rest of the team to follow her into the small stairwell.
Sparrow's eyes adjusted to the low light immediately, as they went deeper and deeper down the spiraling staircase, the sounds of JTigerclaw's chaingun drowned out, to be replaced with yelling.
"What are you looking at, ya fucking retard?" The voice said savagely. “what’s wrong duckie, never seen a woman before?”
"It's RA!" Claude said in an exited whisper.
"Allright, shush. We'll save her soon enough." Sparrow said. She dug into her magical kit (with all of her different tools of destruction.) and pulled out her last flashbang. Sparrow pulled the pin and threw it down the last of the spiraling stairs and watched as it disappeared into the jail.
"What the hell is-" RA said before the room was flooded in light and sound. Sparrow dived into the room, only to let Laemkral use his sniper rifle as a golf club to strike the solitary duck guard, watching it smack against the far wall.
"Clear!"
"Clear!"
"Clear!" Sparrow called out, holstering her gun. Only RA was left in her solitary cell.
RA looked up at Sparrow with amazement. "You're a soldier?"
"One of the best!" Claude said next to sparrow.
"Senshi, pick the lock!" Sparrow ordered.
"Don't move!" a voice called out. The entire team turned with guns drawn to meet Noxmeansxno in full DrunkDuck military uniform, pointing a P90 at the Dark Stalkers.
"Noxy, put the gun down." Sparrow said calmly, motioning to her unit to hold it.
"You are trespassing. Leave." NMN ordered.
"Noxmeansxno, we're here to save you right now. Please, let us help." Sparrow said, holstering her pistol and walking towards Noxmeansxno cautiously.
"Noxy, please!" RA said from her prison.
"Listen to her. That's your sister." Sparrow said calmly.
"She isn't my sister." Noxmeansxno said coldly. "Now drop your weapons and surrender."
"RA, as crazy as she may be, is still your sister. You grew up with her. You have memories with her." Sparrow said.
“Hey!” RA called out from her jail cell.
“Don’t make me kill you.” Noxmeansxno threatened. “This is for my dad.”
“I’m sure this isn’t the route your mother wanted you to go.” Sparrow said. “You know, the one that raised you, Noxy. Remember Pimpette?”
“..yes.” Noxmeansxno stammered.
She had better remember me, dammit, I was the one to change her diapers.
“I’m sure your mother doesn’t want you going on this suicide group.”
“Drunk Duck isn’t a terrorist group.”
“OH COME ON NOXY!” Sparrow yelled. “It isn’t even a country! Look at us! We’ve been able to get so far unscathed! How can you explain that?”
Noxmeansxno stood silently, gun shaking.
Sparrow walked towards NMN without fear. “I’ll shoot!” Noxmeansxno said.
Sparrow continued to walk towards her.
“STOP!” Noxmeansxno yelled.
“You know, Elizabeth misses you.” Sparrow said. “Don’t you miss her?”
Noxmeansxno let go of the gun and hugged Sparrow, crying hysterically. She fell down on her knees, dragging Sparrow down with her.
“That was a letdown.” RA said.
Senshi picked the lock to RA’s cell, letting it swing open. “There you go RA. You’re free.”
“CLAUDE!” RA yelled, jumping into her boyfriend’s arms.
“Hey babe. Came all the way from ComicGenesis for you.”
“Aww, you’re so sweet.” RA said, kissing her boyfriend, making the entire team groan as Claude and RA’s tongues waggled together in the open air.
“Where did you come from, noxy?” Sparrow asked, diverting attention away from the gross kissing.
Noxmeansxno pointed to a brick wall at the far end of the jail. “Press the middle brick on the wall. It’s a secret passage that leads to the throne room.”
“Pyro, try it.” Sparrow ordered.
Pyro felt around the wall before pressing in the button and watching as the wall swung back. “wow, never seen this before.”
Sparrow let go of Noxmeansxno, and got off the floor.
"Where are you going?" NMN asked, clutching onto Senshi
"Time for our primary objective. I'm going to go kill Black Kitty and hpkcomic." Sparrow said through gritted teeth.
"Sparrow, spare my dad. Please." NMN pleaded
"Which one?" Sparrow said.
"Hpk. He's still my dad, biologically."
“I’ll try my best.” Sparrow said, picking up the P90 from the floor. “Mind if I borrow this?”
“Yeah.” Noxmeansxno said, holding on to Senshi as tears began to form on her face. “Sparrow?”
“Yes?”
“Am I gonna go to jail?”
“No. You’re just a teen trying to find your identity.” Sparrow said. “You’ll get in trouble, sure, but I’m sure you can cut a deal.” She said with a soft smile.
“Thanks.”
“Nutcracker, Laem, back me up for support.” Sparrow said, walking through the secret passageway.
Chapter 34 - The Break In
Nanda slowly drove home, singing at the top of her lungs to some pop song Elizabeth enjoyed. She forgot who sang it, but she was enjoying herself botch the song horribly.
She pulled into her driveway, sitting in her car and singing the last of the song, letting the car idle in the driveway. She was on top of the world.
"Oh, everything does seem better if you have a significant other." Nanda said to herself happily, pulling out two bags of groceries from the passenger side of her car and getting around, floating to her house and unlocking the front door.
Nanda walked into her darkened house, skipping into the kitchen and putting down the grocieres and turning on the light to the kitchen, humming along to the song she was just singing a few minutes ago. Nanda skipped along to her answering machine and hit the PLAY button on it.
“Listen, Nanda, uh…” Steve’s voice came out of the answering machine. “I really need to talk to you. I know you probably think I’m a dick or something, but I really need to talk to you about what I did and how that’ll affect us both, okay? Uh, Elizabeth is here with me, so yeah.... Um... call me?”
“Yeah sure Steve, after that stunt you pulled, I guess the humiliation you caused can be solved with a boo friggity whoo apology” Nanda said crudely to the answering machine. She slid back to the groceries and put them away. "He can kiss my pale ass."
Nanda noticed some icecream on the counter as she put away some of the peanut butter. Well, it was a empty tub of chocolate ice cream that was sitting on the counter. “What the hell is this doing here?” she mused out loud. However, she noticed a spoon at the bottom of the empty ice cream.
“ELIZABETH! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!” Nanda yelled out. She hated when her ice cream was wasted. Expecially chocolate ice cream.
There was no reply.
Nanda walked up the stairs with a bit of a huff. Halfway up the stairs, she remembered that Elizabeth was at her father's house. Nanda's steps began to slow down as she reached the top steps, looking around the darkened hallway.
"Hello?" She called out.
Nanda walked down the quiet hallway, feeling her heart pound harder and harder, almost as if it was to jump out of her chest. "Hello?" she repeated.
She turned on the light of her house to see the large, hulking furry figure standing in front of her.
Nanda screamed, and pushed away the furry creature. She ran as fast as she could down the hallway. It was unfortunate of her to trip on a corner of her upper hallway rug, sending her rolling down her stairs.
As Nanda landed on the floor of the first floor, she could hear something crack. Well, more than one thing crack, actually. Pain knocked the air out of her lungs as she laid splayed out on her floor, her legs sticking out at odd angles.
"Help me." She rasped out. She watched with horror as her intruder walked down the stair and looked down at her. Nanda had never seen this furry creature before, and it scared her.
The creature looked down at Nanda once he walked down the stairs. He pitied the look she had in her eyes that made him feel bad. He left out the back door, leaving Nanda on the ground of her own home.
Nanda would not be found until the next morning, when Elizabeth would come home from her father's house.
Chapter 35: The Palace - Part 3
Sparrow walked calmly into the palace throne room, carrying her P90 at her waist. The secret passage left her in the middle of the throne room, a vast room that was filled with various riches. Sparrow looked around in the room, watching the chandelier on the ceiling shake and tremble from the bombing going all around the area.
"Anybody home?" Sparrow called out in the exquisite room. The whistling sound of a whip prompted her to dive down to the floor, narrowly avoiding the large whip as it swung at the area where her head once was.
Sparrow rolled on the ground and quickly recovered, pointing her gun at the direction of the whip to meet a feline wearing something of a superhero getup, leather and all. "You must be Black Kitty." Sparrow said.
"Can I get a name from you, soldier?" Black Kitty said, retracting her whip. She gave a smile that showed off her feline teeth
"SPARROW!" a voice called out.
Sparrow kept her gun trained on Black Kitty and glanced quickly at the other side of the throne room, seeing Hpkcomic settling down on the throne. Beside him, K-Dawg held a gun to Legostar's head.
"Lego, are you allright?" Sparrow asked.
Lego, for a plastic figurine, was sweating profusely. He was unshaven, and his clothes were tattered. "Yes, I suppose."
"Good." Sparrow said, pulling her pistol and pointing it to Hpkcomic, the laser guidance on one end of the pistol laying on his head. "Hello there, Hpk."
"Hello there ComicGenesis lackey." Hpkcomic said smugly. "Are the rumors true? Is CG truly falling apart?"
"Politically, its in shambles. It's nothing a few reforms can't fix. I fight for its people, not for the politicians." Sparrow said, glancing between Hpk and Black Kitty calmly.
"Uh huh. Interesting." Hpk rubbed his chin and stared off into space. "I reckon you are here for the lego scientist."
"You reckon correctly. That, and the two daughters of Pimpette."
"I see our feline mercenary failed us in intercepting you."
"What about KittyKatBlack now?" Sparrow said. "I beat her fair and square."
"We don't care about who won now, all we wanted was the results in the right places." Hpk sighed and rubbed his temples "We knew about the small plane that she stashed away. Unfortunately for her, she's probably passed on, considering that the explosives that we hid on that plane could take out a good sized building."
Sparrow gritted her teeth. "This is for the woman who took care of my terrible twosome." She fired her P90 at Black Kitty's face, watching as the feline jumped out of the way all of the incoming bullets.
Sparrow slung the gun over her shoulder, smiling and giving Black Kitty the finger. "Screw you."
"MMmm lets do it." Black Kitty said with a toothy grin.
Sparrow ran towards Black Kitty, running with her hands in tight fists as she ran face first at the Drunk Duck leader.
Black Kitty grinned, blocking Sparrow's first punch, but the kick Sparrow delivered with her chin connected to Kitty's stomach.
Kitty staggered backwards, grinning and clutching her ribcage. "Where were you the first war?"
"I was just a virgin-minded volunteer. Fortunately, I've had a bit more experience." Sparrow said with a grin. She flipped backwards to find Hpk approaching her with a scythe. "Two on one?"
"I suppose we need a bit more to take out a rascially drow." Hpk said, gripping his scythe before slashing at Sparrow. Sparrow barely avoided the scythe, but her P90 couldn't. It fell apart in two.
Sparrow gritted her teeth, running backwards and jumping over a small table next to a pillar, kicking it in midair right at Hpk, who slashed downwards and cut the table in two.
Sparrow couldn't avoid, however, Black Kitty, who used Sparrow's tactic as an open way to attack, dive kicking Sparrow into a pillar.
"GRAH!" Sparrow yelled out loud, slamming into the pillar hard. Black Kitty peeled her off the pillar and threw her on the ground.
Sparrow only had a short time to recover before Kitty whipped her on the ground over and over, stinging Sparrow and opening wounds.
"SHIT!" Sparrow yelled out, pulling out her sword only to watch it get slashed in two by Hpk’s scythe.
“Hey, what did you make that thing out of?” Sparrow said, using a suit of armor to throw a gauntlet at
“That missie, is a secret.” Hpk said with a smile. He watched as Black Kitty’s whip finally wrapped around Sparrow’s neck, slamming her down into the floor.
Hpk held his scythe to Sparrow's neck once she came back up from the floor. "Not a smart idea, missee, coming in here alone."
"Who said I came alone?" Sparrow said with a grin on her face.
"Kill her quick, Hpk, and get her out of the way." Black Kitty said.
"LAEM, NUTCRACKER! NOW!" Sparrow yelled.
Nutcracker walked out from behind her hiding spot holding up one of Faceless' detonators. "Au Revoir, generators." She said, smashing down the button to knock out the electricity in the palace as the whole room shook from the over exaggerated amount of explosives placed on the generators.
By the time the backup generators came on, Hpk was staggering back to his throne, his scythe shattered on the ground.
"Hpk's weapon has been disabled!" Laem yelled from his hiding spot some where in the throne room, with his NVU goggles still attached. He had shot the staff of the scythe clean off, leaving it useless on the floor.
Black Kitty got up from the floor where Sparrow knocked her down, still smiling manically as she whipped Sparrow once more.
Sparrow caught hold of the whip and smiled. "Nice try."
Black Kitty tugged at the other end of the whip, trying to pull Sparrow away from her weapon. "Let go!"
"You know, this thing is kinda useless against me, considering that I use it against my husband all the time." Sparrow grinned, pulling her gun out of her holster and shooting Black Kitty in the arm.
Black Kitty stumbled backwards, clutching her shoulder as blood flowed liberally from the wound. "Damn you." she said, the smile that once covered her face was now gone.
"You think I came in here unprepared?" Sparrow grinned. She watched as Black Kitty stumbled onto the tripwire, setting off the explosives attached to the pillars. It took only seconds for the RDX plastic explosive to rip through the pillars, toppling onto Black Kitty.
All that was left of the Drunk Duck leader was her whip, which was still partly attached around Sparrow's neck.
Sparrow ripped the whip off her neck, standing up and stumbling around, noticing blood impairing his eyesight.
Pyro rushed into the room from the secret passageway, his gun drawn. "What the hell happened here? You told me to go back to the jail, only to find the lights going out!"
Sparrow smiled, using her knife to cut Black Kitty's whip away from her owner. "Oh, we just took out the leaders of the rebellion." she said, pointing down to Black Kitty. "That would be Black Kitty, and Hpk is over there." Sparrow pointed to where Nutcracker and Laem disarmed the leader. She stopped in her tracks to see Dawg lying on the ground where Laem knocked him down.
"You sick minded bastard." Sparrow spat at Dawg, approaching him with slit eyes. She kicked Dawg's gun away from him, keeping her pistol pointed straight at his head as she stumbled over Dawg's cowering figure
"You killed Pimpette for the glory to return here, huh? Huh?" Sparrow said angrily. There was a trickle of blood coming down her face from her forehead, and her body ached all over.
"You don't know the half of it, Sparrow!" K-Dawg pleaded.
Sparrow shoved the gun into his mouth. "Yeah, I don't know anything. I don't know how you killed her in the bathtub of your house. I don't know how you ran away and simply ruined the lives of your two daughters, putting one into a prison cell because I'm presuming she was smart enough not to fuck with all this stupid shit. I don't know anything about anything, huh?" Sparrow yelled, putting her finger on the trigger and turning off the safety. "Am I stupid enough not to pull this trigger?"
"SPARROW!" Phactorri said. "STOP!"
"What is it, Phact?" Sparrow said, still staring down at Dawg.
"Orders from Toxic himself. Don't hurt Dawg."
"What?" Sparrow said, breaking off her stare to look at Phactorri, who walked into the throne room with his radio pack in his arms.
"Toxic said he's with us." Phact said, out of breath.
"Oh thank Bob." Dawg said with the gun still in his mouth.
Sparrow glared at Dawg and pulled the gun out of his mouth, waiting for a second before pistolwhipping Dawg and watching him fall over on the ground. "You just got a five minute extension on your life, asshole."
Hpkcomic watched with utter horror as Sparrow approached him with a gun. "What do you mean, Dawg is with you?"
"Honestly, I don't know." Sparrow said. She wiped off some of Dawg's blood off of her gun.
"Are you going to kill me?" Hpk said nervously, his eyes darting to the people that surrounded him.
"Your daughter asked me not to." Sparrow said, noticing more blood coming out of her chest.
"So?" Hpkcomic said with big eyes of sorrow.
Sparrow pistolwhipped him as well, watching him fall to the rug with a thud.
She turned to her team. "JTigerclaw, pick up Hpkcomic. Nutcracker, go get senshi and our two lovebirds. " Sparrow said, picking up Dawg and throwing him over her shoulder. "Lets get out of here, people."
Chapter 36: Hospital Stay
Nanda stared woozily up to the ceiling of the hospital. The painkillers had kicked in, and she was feeling fine. She waved her arms around in a nonsensical fashion, restrained by the scrubs and tubes sticking out of her arms.
"Oh my god mom!" Elizabeth yelled out, running into the hospital room and and hugging her mother.
"hiiiiiiiiii liiiiizzieeeee.." Nanda said.
"Oh for the love of Bob, you look like shit, mom." Elizabeth said, fretting over her mother and brushing some of her hair out of the way.
"My legs are in a cast." Nanda said to Elizabeth. "Lookee." she pointed to both of her legs in casts lying on her legs.
"What happened?"
"Hello Elizabeth." Cookie said from the door.
"Mrs.Oosterwijk!" Elizabeth said surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Heeeeeeeellllooo Cookie. You look purdy." Nanda said, rolling her eyes around in an over exaggerated fashion.
"I got the message from Toxic about an attempted attack on your mom, and I decided to help out." Cookie said, moving over next to Elizabeth and watched as Nanda blew saliva bubbles. "How long has she been like this?"
"I don't know, I just got here." Elizabeth said. “Is she high or something?”
"I got him!" Sincerely said, walking into the room with Dr. Luprand.
"Ah. Elizabeth, here's my doctor, Dr. Luprand. I thought it would be best if he received attention from a experienced doctor." Cookie announced, swatting Nanda's hand away from groping her.
Dr. Luprand gave his usual warm smile, and approached the over medicated woman. "Hello Elizabeth. Would this be your mother?"
"Yes, she is." Elizabeth said, watching the furry doctor walk over to the foot of the bed.
Dr. Luprand looked down at the charts he retrieved from the foot of the bed, scanning through the different paperwork. "It seems they kept her at an unusually high level of painkillers. She's completely stoned."
"And it feels GOOOOD!" Nanda giggled loudly. “The ceiling is moving!”
"Considering that most of the painful stuff is already over with, it would be safe to lower the pain medication." Luprand said, walking over to the IVs and adjusting a few controls.
Elizabeth held her mother's hand and watched as her over medicated mother pawed at Dr. Luprand's coat.
"What in the bloody hells is going on in here?" A doctor said from the doorway.
"Well hello there. We're just taking care of our good friend here." Cookie said, motioning to Nanda.
"Well I'm her primary physician, Dr. Dark Magician." the doctor said. "Who the hell is that furry creature?"
"I'm the doctor too, Dr. Magician." Luprand said with the wag of his tail. Even with the insult, he kept his kindly attitude
“And what are you doing here, then?" Dr. Magician said, crossing his arms.
“Dr. Magician, it is ovious you have no idea what you are doing.” Luprand said, still using his kind voice. “This is a teaching hospital, I suppose, with all those extra interns and whatnot hanging about."
"The Box is a fine teaching system!" Dr. Magcician bellowed, wagging his finger at Luprand.
"I doubt it, good sir, considering how the painkillers was pretty close to the legal limit, and there was no treatment for a cuncussion." Dr. Luprand said. "The patient did fall down a set of stairs, correct?"
Dr. Magician stopped his finger in mid-wag, then turned to one of the students outside of the door. "Which one of you took care of Nanda?"
One of the students stepped forward. “I did, sir.”
“Ahaugen! You fool!”
Ahaugen lowered his head.”
"GET BACK IN THE BOX YOU FOOL!" Dr. Dark Magician said, smacking the intern hard on the head and glaring at Luprand. "You have control of my patient now. Enjoy." He said with a sneer on his face. DM walked out of the room with his interns following close suit.
"Ohh man, i feel woozy." Nanda said.
"Just sleep now mum, you're in good hands now." Elizabeth said, watching as her mother nodded off to sleep.
“I wonder who attacked her.” Cookie said, watching as her good friend slept quietly.
“Whatever it was, it left nothing behind.” Sincerely said. “All the cops found was a bunch of groceries and an empty ice cream carton."
“That wasn’t my mom. She hates icecream left over.”
“That woman does love her ice cream.” Nanda mused. “Sin, tell the cops they need to look much harder.”
“Sure thing, Cookie.” Sincerely said, walking into a corner and dialing a number on her cellphone.
Steve rushed into Nanda’s hospital room, with Soap following close behind. "How is she?"
“She’s fine dad.” Elizabeth sighed, rolling her eyes to the back of her head.
Stinky slipped into the room, standing next to Soap and Steve. “How is it?" Stinky said quietly.
"She's doing better." Elizabeth said with a tired smile, holding her mother's hand as she snored quietly.
"Why did you leave her, Mr. Fiddle?" Steve said accusingly, letting go of Soap's hand.
"Leave her? I wasn't with her that night!" Stinky exclaimed.
"Sure, and I'm a fucking fruitcake!" Steve yelled, pushing Stinky.
"Oh, not this again dad!" Elizabeth yelled. "Leave my decision out of this!"
"Quiet, Elizabeth!" Steve yelled back. "Let me finish!"
"Let the girl talk, Steve!" Soap bellowed. "You ignore the both of us all the time!"
"Not right now honey!" Steve said.
"When would be a good time? When you're on the john taking a-"
"Let me finish, woman!" Steve interrupted Soap, turning back to Stinky. "Do explain yourself."
"Look, we're dating. I was off on a job. I'm sorry." Stinky said, glancing every couple of seconds over to Nanda's sleeping figure.
"So what, is she a playmate to you?" Steve said accusingly.
Stinky shook his head. "Not at all. I love this woman."
"Sure you do."
"What the hell are you doing with her then? I thought you two hated each others guts.” Stinky said.
“Yeah, please answer us that question, Steve.” Soap said.
“Well..”
“Have no answer, huh?” Stinky said with a sneer.
"LET ME FINISH!" Steve said, slugging Stinky on the chin.
"DAD, STOP!" Elizabeth yelled, watching from her mother's bedside as Stinky delivered an uppercut to Steve's chin. Dr. Luprand protected his new patient, trying to break up the fight.
All that stopped the fighting, however, was Sincerely, who pumped two shots from each one of her pistols into the ceiling.
Everyone froze as Sincerely put away her pistols. "This is a bloody hospital, not a place for fighting and verbal fistfights! Both of you, behave!" she barked.
"The same could be said to you, Sincerely." Luprand said, watching as a couple of pieces of the ceiling tile fell off, landing on the foot of Nanda's bed.
Chapter 37: Escape from DrunkDuck
Sparrow ran with her pistol in her right hand, Dawg on her opposite shoulder, running as fast as she could down an empty hallway. Her once small and tight group was now a giant crew, herself, Senshi, and Laemkral holding up the front of the crew. In the middle, Claude escorted NMN and RA, while Pyro, Phactorri, and JTigerclaw held up the rear.
"You need help?" Pyro asked.
"Hell no. Keep moving." Sparrow ordered, running with a limp in her leg.
"What's the plan?" Senshi asked as they came to another solid metal door.
"Phactorri, how are we on airstrikes?" Sparrow asked, watching as Senshi cleared the door before picking the lock.
"We can order one last one with a GBU-43/B." Phactorri said, holding his submachine gun out and watching as Senshi opened up the door and shoot a sentry waiting for them.
Sparrow's pointy ears perked up. "Oooohohohohoho really?"
"Yes ma'am."
Sparrow, in her tired and weary state, gave a sadistic grin. "I got an idea."
"Sparrow?" Lego called out.
"Yeah?"
"I have something that might help." Lego said.
--
"Cornel Duck!" A small duck said (in duck, of course. Why do you think Donald Duck can't speak full English? It's the lack of a good tongue. It's strange what you can learn when you're dead...) ran up the exquisite driveway to his commander, who stood in front of a series of garages.
"How's the damage?" The mallard duck asked.
"Extensive, sir. Three of the four towers have been toppled over completely, and most of our anti aircraft technology has been destroyed." The smaller duck reported. "We have close to 130 dead, 50 injured."
"For the love of the duck!" The mallard duck yelled, rubbing its beak with his wing. "What about the intruders?"
"They disappeared, Sir."
The mallard duck brought his right wing to slap the smaller duck on the face, knocking the smaller duck onto the floor. "How could you lose a group of people like that?"
"The stories are true, commander. They're insane." the smaller duck said. "They're ghosts!"
"That is not true! This is comicgenesis! This is an enemy we can defeat!" the mallard duck screamed, towering over the smaller duck.
"Sir, look at this place! It's in total shambles! How many of them are there?" the smaller duck. "WE LOST!"
"I'll have your head if you continue your subordination!" the mallard duck replied in fury.
"You can have it then!" the smaller duck said. "I want nothing more of this!"
"Fine. I'll have your-" the mallard duck pointed his gun at the smaller duck on the floor. Unfortunately, the mallard duck lost its head as a hovercraft burst out of its garage, knocking the head clean off as the hovercraft's bumper hit him.
The smaller duck on the ground looked up in total shock, his entire body shaking as he was covered in the blood of his commander. --
"A hovercraft?" Pyro yelled, holding on to his harness as he sat behind Sparrow.
"Hovertransport." Lego said, watching as Sparrow piloted the hovercraft over a pile of rubble. "Hpkcomic wanted an attack vehicle that could avoid land mines."
"Did he watch too many action films?" Laemkral said, holding onto the harness that strapped him down in the back of the vehicle. there was four seats facing the front of the vehicle, while two rows of seats
"I'm right here, ya lazy folk." Hpk growled, tied up on a vertical bar. "That's rude, you CG pigs."
"What are we going to do?" Noxmeansxno said, holding onto her harness for dear life as she ignored her birth father.
"Get as far away from the palace as possible." Sparrow said, watching as ducks shot their rifles at the tank, but to no avail.
The hovercraft burst through the rubble of the front gates, leaving only a couple of jeeps to give chase to the mammoth floating transport vehicle.
"We've got some bogeys behind us!" Lego yelled. "It's a tank and a couple of jeeps!"
"Is there any weapons on this massive thing?" Laemkral asked.
"They were due to be installed next week." Lego said meekly from the copilot's seat.
"Night Stalkers, come in!" A voice said over Phactorri's radio pack. "This is Skylark King of the ComicGenesis Air Force!"
"Phact, bring that thing over here!"
"Yes ma'am!" Phactorri said, running over and delivering the radio to sparrow.
Sparrow grabbed the headset and put it on. "This is Sparrow of the NightStalkers."
"Sparrow, we have a nice GBU-43/B waiting to be delivered. Where should we leave it?"
"The palace. Blow it up." Sparrow said, jerking the floating craft to the left to avoid an oncoming rock. For such a complex vehicle, it was rather easy to control.
"With pleasure, Sparrow. Please stand away from the fumes, if you will. Skylark King over and out."
"CorpAmis, come in!" Sparrow pulled off Phactorri's headset and used her own radio.
"What's up, ma'am?" CorpAmis' voice came over the radio
"We're in a hovercraft south of the palace! I need to know if there's a small airfield around here."
"Yes ma'am, there is." CorpsAmis replied. "You're on the right road."
"Land there and wait for us!" Sparrow yelled.
"Look!" Pyro pointed out a window. "Here it comes!"
--
In the sky, SkylarK King piloted a B-52 bomber over the palace. "We're in range!" he yelled
"Copy that. Targeting." Jesusabdullah announced.
"Drop it at will." Skylark King held the plane steady.
"Dropping." Jesusabullah smashed the button in for the bomb, feeling the stealth plane shake a bit as the bomb dropped towards its target.
Now, again, a little factoid for all of you. Being in heaven gives me a little bit of a leeway to different secrets about the world below. And this little weapon, is a doozy.
The GBU-43/B, or as it is called by the military, the MOAB. Massive Ordnance Blast bomb. Or by its nickname, "Mother of All Bombs.". 21,600 pounds of explosives, using a cocktail of different explosives for the right effect.
Let's just say as soon as the bomb hit, not even the bomb shelters survived the blast.
--
"What are we going to do about our pursuers?" RA asked, holding onto her harness for dear life as the boom of the explosion.
"Lower the back doors, I'll take care of it!" JTigerclaw yelled, unbuckling his harness and grabbing his SAW that was at his feet. He ran to the back of the hovercraft and laid down, waiting to see the doors open before laying down a stream of bullets at the oncoming vehicles.
One of the jeeps were immediately knocked out, running off the side of the road, its engine and tires punctured from the .50 caliber bullets. The other vehicles still gave pursuit.
"The tank is still going!" Laemkral yelled at Sparrow. "There's another two jeeps on the way!"
"Nutcracker!" Sparrow said, keeping her eyes glued on the road.
"I don't have any more shells!" Nutcracker yelled.
Sparrow jerked the entire hovercraft to the left, avoiding an incoming shell. "Do something about it! ANYBODY!"
Her plea was answered by a stinger missile flying out and hitting the tank.
JTigerclaw looked up from the sights of his gun to see Claude holding the missile launcher. "How do you know how to use that thing?" JTigerclaw said in awe.
"I play a lot of video games." Claude said, reloading the missile launcher. "Plus, i found this in one of the overhead storage compartments of this thing."
"I knew you were good for something!" Sparrow said, piloting the hovercraft over a small river, floating over the river as the other vehicles slowed down to wade.
"There it is!" Senshi pointed to the clearing about half a mile away from the river. It was a small airfield, allright, with a small garage that laid in rubble. Just beyond the rubble, Jops and Amis' plane laid in wait.
"Dammit, KKB is dead." Sparrow growled, slamming the throttle all the way in and sending the overcraft at top speed. "Night Stalkers, get ready to scramble once we stop!"
"Yes ma'am!" the team yelled.
The hovercraft coasted to a stop. "GO!" Sparrow yelled, dropping her last explosive charge on the floor of the hovercraft as it stopped floating and grated against the dirt.
"What are you doing?" Lego said in shock.
"We're not leaving this thing for the ducks!" Sparrow yelled, picking up lego by his blocky feet and ran towards the exit. She picked up Dawg, who was still knocked out, and ran out of the hovercraft and ran into the plane, which was under light fire from an oncoming JEEP.
"You're alive!" CorpsAmis said with a grin on her face.
"I'd rather not be otherwise!" Sparrow threw K-Dawg and Lego to the floor. "Let's get out of this place!"
Jops shot an artillery shell at the road from which the hovercraft came from, watching it blow out an oncoming tank in a cloud of dirt. "Yes ma'am!" he said, running into the copilot's seat and with CorpAmis, threw the throttle at full speed.
Claude fired another missile, this time connecting squarely at the Jeep and blowing it up.
As the plane flew away, the hovercraft exploded, leaving wreckage at the small airport.
